I can’t believe I am here, at this point. At the point that I have talked to myself about for three years. I knew one day I would be able to tell my story, and here I am. I have written this in my head over and over again, and at one point, started to put it down on paper with a pen, but it didn’t feel right. It wasn’t the time. But, now it’s time.

I sit here at my desk, writing this…the same place I edit beautiful wedding photos, and happy families with toothless kids who don’t have a care in the world. Here, at this very desk, is where I have cried from exhaustion of my job during busy season, I have also smiled and laughed at the memories I captured for families. But this, this is different.

I have a million emotions running all at once. I am sad, angry, happy, emotional, excited, and scared. Only scared because my world is about to change. I am certain that it is changing for the better, but it’s going to be a bumpy road. As you can see, my website has a new name and a face lift. This website portrays my work, and my new last name. For those of you who have only known me as Kelsey Opague…Karaidos is my maiden name.

Yes, I am going through a divorce.

I don’t want to go into too much detail about why my marriage failed, because my soon to be ex husband is still the father of my children, and I want to make sure I respect him in that manner as much as possible. Trust me, I’d love to tell you and the world every detail, but I better not.

I have taken many mommy and me photos for clients, without dad, because of a similar situation to mine. I have had mom’s cry in the middle of a session because her husband had a “work” trip planned and couldn’t attend family photos. I have had moms cry tears of joy because it was her first time taking family photos after her divorce. And, if you are going through something of this manner, in any way, I want you to know that I am an open book. If you need somebody to talk to, or to ask questions, I am here for you. Unfortunately, I am really good at reading liars. I say unfortunately, because that only means I have had experience with one for far too long. The truth is, I think we are all really good at it. If it seems too good to be true, or something doesn’t seem right … it isn’t. If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, it is in fact, a duck.

I tried to make it work. I tried my hardest. I couldn’t imagine my life without my kids having both parents in the home. But now I can’t imagine my life continuing the way it is. So here I am, writing this, in hopes to not only make sense for you on what’s going on, but to also reach those who need help. Those who are in the same situation. I would like to tell you that you don’t deserve it, but you already know that. What I will tell you is something you probably haven’t heard yet … and that is that you won’t regret it.

The kids and I moved into our new home last week, and it’s all surreal. How I got here is known, but why I got here is something I’ll never understand.

To anybody who follows me personally, I am sure you’ve been wondering what’s going on. I have had a few friends reach out and ask, thank you for that. For those of you who are my clients, including brides + grooms, please know that this will not affect me as a photographer, or my business in any way. A small amount of people know that I have actually been going through this for three years. My work hasn’t been affected by it to this point, and will not be affected by it moving forward. I still believe in love, marriage, family, and of course memories, and I will be here to capture it all for you. My priorities are my children, but all of you are close second.

My family and best friends have been nothing but a huge support system for me. If I could give them the world, I would. They have been there through every step of the way without one sign of judgment. They stood beside me when I chose to stand beside him. They held me when I cried, and yelled at me when I was being stupid. They gave me different points of views, but at the end of the day, they supported me because they love me. I’ll never be able to repay them, but I do want them to know that I will never forget the way they made me feel and the things they did for me when I was at my absolute worst.

Listen, I am a lot of things. Sad, mad, confused, defeated, hateful, and much more, but the biggest thing is unashamed. Unashamed of my marriage failing because I know I tried everything to keep it together. I am unashamed that my children know their parents are getting a divorce. That was hard, but we have raised some pretty amazing kids who understand and are taking the news the best they can. I am unashamed to have married this man because he wasn’t this man when we got married, and I wouldn’t have my beautiful children. I am unashamed to feel sad. It is sad. A marriage is ending, and a family is breaking. I am unashamed to feel angry. And, I must note that I am not as angry as I used to be. I think that’s a good sign of moving forward. I am unashamed to tell people my story. I am unashamed of every feeling because I know this is what I am supposed to be feeling at this moment. I am better than bitter, and I will rise.

If you are going through this, hold tight, and find some good people to be around. You will get through it, and as I mentioned before, you won’t regret it.

xoxo

Kelsey